After falling victim to societies pushes and pulls I was reminded today that this entire journey never was meant to have public exposure. I didn’t start any of this seeking recognition. I needed to remind myself from time to time as I have been very much appreciative of the route but lonely at the same time.
I realized my own satisfaction in achieving financial freedom my main goal. But as I went further, deeper meaning started to shape my reasoning.
I started with a rugged drive that would later be defined by daily meditation and creating from intention rather than brute force. I was able to take that raw energy and understand in my 30s how to use it to finesse outcomes rather than force them.
I evolved through killing the version of myself that assumed victory could be had through tried and true methods. The same old methods that got me my first 5 figure check independently. The same methods that I would lean on and assume that this is work and no other version could/should exist.
The traction for this idea had to coexist with the friction necessary to move it.
I remember the day, I remember the moment. I couldn’t accept the pursuit I was on or my go-to method. I had to make a change for my sanities sake. I broke down. It wasn’t dramatic like they make it seem in the movies either. It was a sober moment that was had through meditation. I looked in the mirror and I knew I had stumbled upon my next move. I had to play this game on hard, only I could look in that mirror and tell myself what was right at that time.
Things were changing and uncertainty had such a hold on me I couldn’t quite see the road ahead, and for the first time in a long time I was aimless. So aimless I might hurt myself. So what started out as an attempt to thrive became a series of events that said life or death were going to be the outcome. Not to downplay this part of the equation, but my relationship with Christ allowed me the fortitude to choose evolution rather than failure and giving up.
The energy to put in the hours converted into planning a new routine.
My life and business at one, overlapping and informing one another.
Serendipitously, HTKY Prekill would gain traction artistically and my understanding of the tongue-in-cheek title would ultimately be earned. I had to adapt, I had to change course completely.
Public but not Social
One of my proudest accomplishments was in sharing my story publicly. Unashamedly documenting the enigma that I was so perplexed by that I decided to give it a go myself. It doesn’t have the same buzz it once gave me when I first stumbled across the idea of entrepreneurship in my late teens, but now I’m living it and I’m more than happy to offer my own journey in hopes that it helps.
One of my proudest accomplishments was living my philosophy and taking my relationship with God further through meditation. Again, one informed the other and my personal life decisions are strengthening my business life.
That Spring day in which I would rediscover Dr. Joe Dispenza and play his interview on repeat daily for the coming weeks. Additionally, the audiobook for Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself has served as a repeat listen over the past 7 months.
It was a favor really, up until this point my aim has been shallow in my desire for wealth. Instead, the source and wisdom of how to attract the life I want through being who I want before the true transformation occurs.
Can I turn myself into a businessman that earns an income from sound business practice rather than using my business for the sake of earning income?
Much more involved this life becomes. When you’re really in it the game is so much more than the outcome. Now I start from a graduated understanding of what it really means to create a successful venture and build a sustainable enterprise.
“Nothing wrong with my aim, just gotta change the target” - Shawn Carter